Shape Up or Ship Out

Add caption

This is a magical time of year. Fueled by the seemingly endless onslaught of gifts, prizes and presents throughout the year, toy collections miraculously transform into 10,000-armed octopuses, capable of bringing down unsuspecting parents and kids in a matter of seconds. As the beasts slither from room to room, injuries range from Band-Aid worthy boo-boos to broken toes and collarbones. Victims of the Stockholm syndrome, kids often defend the creatures with tooth-and-nail. Parents, meanwhile, feel helpless against the uninvited guest, not knowing how or when to attack the beast. Recent studies, however, have determined the best course of actions to follow upon confronting the 10,000-armed monster. First, limit its food supply. These octopuses thrive on old, unused, forgotten or broken toys. Kid’s meals “toys” in general are particularly dangerous, as they are considered a delicatessen amongst their kind. By removing these hazards from your home (best done at night, while the beast sleeps), the octopus will be forced the look elsewhere for food. Second, repopulate the playroom with the creature’s natural predators, educational toys. The high levels of energy given off by these toys are toxic to the octopuses, leading to their quick demise. Recommended toys include Fractiles and the Sprig Discovery Rig, as their smart design and intellectual prowess are no match for the beast. Introducing these predators during the holiday season, when unused toys reach their prime, is particularly effective in warding off these creatures. Third, be vigilant in your fight. Remove unused toys, rotate old toys or/and introduce new toys on regular basis. Stay clear of cheaply made toys and tempt not the monster with copious amounts of kid’s meals toys. Last of all, stay up-to-date on preventative measures and extermination techniques by check back here, www.toyopia.me, for weekly updates and Toyopia.com when shopping for toys.